Cultivating Joy
Author Alastair Stern on his newest book, "Longing for Joy"
Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God.”
-Leon Bloy
Cultivating Joy
Depression. A few months after I started medication, I was alone and wasn’t doing anything but sitting on the couch. But I felt different. I couldn’t name the feeling at first. Then, an epiphany. I was happy. As I sat so still as not to scare happiness away, joy said, ‘Don’t mind if I do” and cozied between us. She felt like the presence of a friend after a long absence. You pick up where you left off.”
—Alastair Stern, Longing for Joy
I hung up the phone after a direct attack from a woman from my church.
I hung my head and thought, “I can’t do this anymore. I have three children who depend on me, and I’m falling apart again because of a church split.”
This was my second, very hard, journey through a church division.
I remembered the prescription for an antidepressant that had sat in my cabinet for months.
My excellent doctor had recommended it for years.
My resistance?
“I am a Christian. I teach the Bible. If I take that, how can I say I have any faith at all?”
Those were my exact words.
His response?
“Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. If you were diabetic, you would take insulin. No questions asked. Your body is deficient, if not completely absent, of serotonin, Janell.”
Out of desperation, I filled the prescription.
The morning after I took my first dose, the world transformed from black and white to technicolor.
I kid you not.
After a few weeks, I distinctly remember my 10-year-old son, Grant, saying, “Mom, you are laughing a lot more.”
He was right.
Cultivating Joy Takes Effort and Determination
This week’s podcast guest, Alastair Stern, author of Longing for Joy: An Invitation into the Goodness and Beauty of Life, tells his honest journey with depression.
He speaks of “joylessness” and urges us to pay attention.
“Joylessness can be a blip, a momentary affliction. It eventually passes with time. Joylessness can be a prolonged experience, even a chronic condition. It can be a nuisance, like a fly in our line of sight that we can’t swat away. It’s the child that doesn’t relent, ‘Are we there yet?’ or the incessant tapping of our neighbor’s pencil on the desk. Sometimes joylessness is self-evident. The light in our eyes dim. We don’t delight in things the way we once did. Life loses its sheen and even aches. We smile and laugh less, or we mask our joylessness with smiles and by deflecting with humor. But sometimes we excel at hiding joylessness—even from ourselves. In this case, we may come across as aloof or disinterested. It can feel like pins and needles—a strange sensation that we know isn’t meant to be the norm.”
—An excerpt from Alastair Stern’s newest book, “Longing for Joy.”
As I type that short excerpt, tears well in my eyes.
Two weeks ago, pins and needles started in my left arm.
This past summer, they were all over my body.
I’m not sure I would have ever associated this physical manifestation with joylessness.
The Teacher Appears
I’ve been clinging to Lao Tzu’s words, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”
My God is so faithful and loves me (and you) so much that He sends teachers to help us along the way—this week (or even longer, probably), Alastair Stern appeared.
I urge you to take time to listen to this remarkable conversation.
Q & A Time
Joy is not a forced smile or suppression of negative emotions. It is not feigning a happy life or pretending all is well. Joy is an eternity seeking emotion, because whereas we want grief and sadness and sorrow to end, we want love, joy, and compassion to last forever…Health means there is room for every emotion. We allow emotions to be what they are and to communicate what they need to communicate. And then you use them, ideally, as tethers to the heart of Christ.”
—Alastair Sterne, from Longing for Joy
When Alastair said, “Joy is not a forced smile or suppression of negative emotions,” I had to catch my breath.
I learned early on to force a smile and suppress negative emotions.
But that is not how God wants us to live, Heartlifters.
I’m curious to know if there was one line or one thought in this week’s podcast that maybe left you breathless.
Share it here, if you would, and we will continue our exploration of Joy.
Goodness gracious, Heartlifters, I butchered Lao Tzu's name. Please forgive. :)